


You Touched My Body Once, It Still Burns Me Softly

by Ayzup



Series: Step One: Come A Little Closer [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Dealing with rejection, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Paladin Danse/Arthur Maxson (flashback)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 02:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11980413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayzup/pseuds/Ayzup
Summary: In dealing with a fresh rejection from his commanding officer, Paladin Danse finds comfort from an unexpected source.





	You Touched My Body Once, It Still Burns Me Softly

It was so much different from last time. Last time, there had been an almost overwhelming feeling of clean, in the smell of the air as well as the lack of physical contact. The radio had been going as well, that classical station with unknown origins, in an attempt to muffle any sounds that might have given them away.

_“No one has to know…”_

This time, the scent of cigarette smoke hung thick around them; there was no music, just the sound of their breathing and gunshots in the distance. The only similarity was that there was still no touching, but it wasn’t strained or uncomfortable. At least, it wasn’t for one of them.

“You smoke?”

Danse looked over at the mercenary who was sitting with his back against the headboard. He held his lit cigarette in the far hand, tapping ashes over the side of the bed, while his other hand offered a mildly crumpled pack and a lighter to the soldier. However, it wasn’t the offer that made Danse look to his side and up at MacCready, but the casual tone of his voice, as though they hadn’t just been rutting like raiders on Psychobuff.

They were at the Red Rocket Truck Stop just outside of Sanctuary - it had been MacCready’s suggestion with the claim that privacy did not exist in the settlement. Danse was surprised to find a bed in there in the first place, but the sniper explained that Nora had turned what used to be the office into a makeshift living area for anyone using the crafting stations there. It offered more space to work as well as a little peace from Marcy Long’s bitching, so MacCready said he often took advantage of the space. Never for this before, he was quick to add, and Danse wondered if others used this space for more personal activities than weapon upgrades. They probably did, as MacCready had to have gotten the idea somewhere.

Danse pushed himself up to adopt a similar position to MacCready, though he looked more visibly tense than the skinny sniper beside him, and took the pack to light up a cigarette of his own. He wasn’t sure why he did; the last time he had smoked was after Cutler died.

After the Brotherhood Paladin handed back the pack and lighter, they sat in silence for another few minutes. He must have looked as troubled as he felt, because eventually, MacCready spoke up again:

“I’d offer a cap for your thoughts, but I spent all mine on ammo.”

Danse sighed and swung his legs off the bed. His cigarette was only half finished, but he put it out on the floor anyway before starting to pull on his orange jumpsuit.

“Was it something I said? I thought you were the one who wanted this,” MacCready said; he hadn’t moved from his spot on the bed, but his tone was indignant and, if Danse wasn’t mistaken, even a little hurt.

“I did.” Danse hated how hesitant he sounded, and his brief hope that MacCready wouldn’t notice was immediately dashed.

“But?”

Danse bit his bottom lip; as much as he didn’t want to admit what he was feeling, he owed it to the mercenary to at least be honest. Honesty was hard to come by out in the wasteland. “I don’t want to feel like this tomorrow, this regret at using you and being used in return.”

There was silence again, and a slight shiver coursed through Danse’s body. He wasn’t cold, exactly, even though he had only pulled the jumpsuit up about halfway before MacCready’s accusations distracted him. He was about to finish clothing himself when the smaller man finally responded to his admission.

“I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t want it. You know, not just the sex, but,” MacCready made a vague gesturing motion in Danse’s direction, “you too.” Danse blinked once, twice, opened his mouth to respond and then promptly shut it again. He wasn’t sure he understood what had just been said. MacCready had never shown any inclination toward him before, to Danse’s knowledge, and often went along with that Railroad spy, Deacon, in his (mostly) futile attempts at getting under the soldier’s skin. Aside from that, it was obvious that he held no high opinion of the Brotherhood of Steel, whether it was their morals or the methods they used.

Danse could have, and would have, voiced these observations as very strong counterpoints indeed, but all that came out of his mouth was, “What?”

MacCready chuckled and took a long drag from his cigarette before flicking it onto the floor. “Look, I don’t need to know what happened during your last trip to your headquarters or whatever you call it, but you’re normally so… energetic after those visits, and this time you weren’t.” There was no denying the validity of his statement; Danse hadn’t taken Arthur- Elder Maxson’s rejection well, and it had been obvious from the moment the Paladin had crossed the bridge into Sanctuary.

_“Paladin Danse, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve hardly talked ‘mission objective’ at all tonight,” Nora said._

_“Yeah, normally we can’t get ya to shut up!” had been cait’s agreement._

_“I’ve just got a lot on my mind is all.”_

_“Sounds like you need some good, old-fashioned stress relief.” Unsurprisingly, the suggestion came from the ghoul, Hancock._

_What was surprising, however, was MacCready’s comment: “What, are you offering?”_

When Danse had looked at MacCready, the sniper had been grinning right at him, as though it was all a joke. His eyes had given away a daring curiosity Danse hadn’t acknowledged until now, though he supposed subconsciously, that was why he propositioned the sniper in the first place.

“I know this was meant to be stress relief for you, but that’s not all it has to be.” MacCready blushed and ducked his head - a habit, Danse guessed, that stemmed from wearing that hat of his all the time. “Regret doesn’t have to be part of this.”

_“You should return to your quarters before someone starts to notice your absence.” Arthur had hardly given himself time to catch his breath before he was clothed, coat and all, and slicking his hair back into place. Danse was still on the bed, still naked, and quite shocked by how quickly they had gone from being tangled together in the sheets to Danse being kicked out of the Elder’s quarters._

_“Arthur, I-”_

_“I’m sorry this didn’t mean what you thought it meant, Paladin, but it would be unwise for you to believe that it will happen again.”_

Danse, still only half-dressed and now half-dazed, slowly stepped toward the bed again, almost as though he were more cautious now than he was when they started; he crawled toward MacCready, hovering over him, but waiting for some sort of sign that what the mercenary said was true. That sign came when MacCready grabbed the soldier’s chin firmly and kissed him. This was what Danse had been looking for with Arthur Maxson, and what he had been denied when his superior officer brought him to bed. This small intimacy wasn’t so powerful that Danse instantly forgot what happened that night and the ache he still felt from the fresh wound in his heart, but as MacCready maneuvered him back onto the bed, breaking their kiss only to gasp for breath, Paladin Danse realized that maybe now he had more reasons to stay on the ground than to return to the Prydwen and a man who would never see his soldiers as more than pawns for him to use and throw away.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title is from Your Rain from the Silent Hill 4: The Room soundtrack.
> 
> This probably won't be a standalone piece; I have ideas for at least one sequel and maybe even a prequel? Who knows. Certainly not me, I'm incredibly unreliable.
> 
> If you'd like to see me write for another pairing or challenge me with a prompt, drop me a message.
> 
> Characters are not mine, they are owned by Bethesda, I'd really like to not go to prison, blah blah blah.
> 
> Main Tumblr: betweenlovelines  
> Fallout RP Tumblr: the-folly-of-rin


End file.
